Friday, May 9, 2014

How To Tell If Your Gay Friend is Secretly Attracted to You, a Straight Guy

In my youth I was a master at seducing hot guys, it helped being young and attractive myself. So many gay guys can't let go of that in later years, making a spectacle of themselves chasing what you can only get with money when you reach that certain age—a smokin' hot boy toy.

I enjoy hanging out with sexy straight guys in their 20s but found I had to take myself out of the game if I wanted to stay on the field. (I just can't make a play. The ball can roll right up next to my foot, all I can do is look away and whistle.) Any attraction I have for my friends is mitigated by the fact that they are so much more beautiful on the inside than they are on the outside—and that's saying a lot. I would rather have the connect to that exciting part of them that they share with their friends than try to initiate some forced sexual encounter that isn't going to happen anyway. By not lurking on the sidelines I'm surrounded by the best-looking young hotties I've ever know. And I worked in Hollywood!

I honestly don't have sexual feelings for them, if I did it would be nakedly obvious and we wouldn't be friends. In that spirit...

Here's how you can tell if your gay friend secretly wants to 
have sex with you and is playing the long game:

1) Every other thing out of his mouth is about sex and he takes your offhanded comments and twists them into crass sexual innuendos. He's hanging with you and has sex on his mind.

2) He manages to get you alone with him a lot, building an intimacy. And he likes to talk about things that make you emotional.

3) He reacts differently when he's alone with you as opposed to when you're with other people.

4) He gets undressed in front of you often. He's hoping you'll make the first move.

5) He gets you drunk to talk about pussy, an attempt to get you horny. The old joke: What's the difference between a straight guy and a gay guy? A six pack of beer. (That's actually a little harsh, a twelve pack is more like it.)

6) He has to hug you when you meet and you're not a touchy-feely kind of guy.

7) He's always super-critical of the girls you like. It's the two of you against the world kind of thing. If you're already getting laid you won't likely be so horny you'll consider having sex with a dude. That said, the first straight guy I had a relationship with had a girlfriend so it's not a deal killer.

Oh sure kids, things have changed a lot over the years, straight guys are a lot more open to gay sex today than they ever were for one thing. But the fundamentals of seduction will never change.

And if you're gay trying to get with your supah-fine straight friend... you're welcome! Gay/straight sex is awesome and no, it won't turn a hetero queer, nor does it mean he's secretly gay.