Monday, August 3, 2015

What the Hell is the 'Gay Lifestyle'?

When someone says they don't approve of the 'gay lifestyle' I have to confess I have no idea what that means. Is there some notion out there that gays are some monolithic group that marches in lockstep?  There are a lot of us of a certain age who like Barbra Streisand and Judy Garland, I'll give you that, but I'm single, spend most of my time writing, all of my close friends here are straight, haven't been to a gay bar in this century and (sadly) haven't had sex more than 10 times during that period.  

Is it the Castro / West Hollywood leather boys? I'm pretty disdainful of them as well but to each his own.  Is it the pervs trolling park bathrooms for sex? I've got news for you the majority of those guys are generally closeted married men and ministers. I've only known one person in my entire life that did that (and that Detroit motherfucker will be liking this post).

There is no more a gay lifestyle than a straight lifestyle. Not approving of the 'gay lifestyle' I'm guessing is akin to saying you don't approve of black people but like your black friends, we all know folks like that. Is it anal sex you don't condone? I don't go for it myself but who gives a fuck what people do in bed, you don't have to clean the sheets. That two people who love each other can get married, cohabitate? Why would it make any difference to me or you?

Is it that homos are controlling the narrative? Looking over Wikipedia's list of prominent American gay activist I don't recognize 90% of those names, they certainly aren't on your TV every week like dozens of anti-gay commentators are. A majority of those running for President have made being anti-gay a major plank in their platform.

Is it the drag queens? They're easy to avoid. I haven't been to a gay pride event since 1994 but it's just one weekend a year, obviously easy to avoid because I never even know when it is! Is it the gay small business owner who employs dozens of people, gay and straight, then devotes time to charity? Musicians like Michael & Spider who enjoyed a 40+ year committed relationship but are denied pension benefits a straight couple takes for granted... or those old guys in Texas who've been together 54 years and can now finally make it legal? 

Effeminate guys and butch ladies? There are plenty of hetero examples. Hell, I can't tell half the time who's gay or straight anymore and it really doesn't matter much because odds suggest I'm not getting any! Sex obsessed men cruising Craigslist to hookup? Again not limited to this side of the aisle (you wouldn't believe the number of married men posting on Casual Encounters m4m).

Who represents this 'gay lifestyle' - Ru Paul, Chaz Bono, Billie Jean King, Lindsey Graham, George Takei, Barney Frank, Elton John, Dan Savage, Dr. Smith on Lost in Space? Me? What have any of us done to offend... just exist?