Saturday, February 14, 2015

Being a Grandmother Will No Longer Absolve You of Your Sins (Like It Used To)

My favorite news headlines are the ones that have to do with Grandmas:  "Grandmother Caught Selling Drugs."  "GamGams Swept Up in Prostitution Ring,"  "NaNa Shoplifts Roast Beef in Her Granny Panties."  We're past the time when someone being the parent of a parent is a get-out-of-jail free card now that Baby Boomers are of age... and plenty young enough to get into all kinds of shenanigans.

When I was a boy my gray-haired Mema would walk down the block to our home carrying a basket of fresh baked goodies covered over with a gingham cloth, wearing a modest blue dress and pearls.  Today's grandmothers are more likely to be found in those embarassing photos taken of real people at Wal-mart, gelatinous asses hanging over motor scooters with a basket full of Cheetos and Capri Sun juice boxes. Or the emaciated harridan arriving home from the gym after a rendevous with her best friend's husband.